"If flowers can
how to bloom after
so can you."
Okay. So for those of you who haven’t heard, there’s going to be a film adaptation of the Disney park ride, “It’s a Small World.” For those of you who are unfamiliar with the ride, basically it’s a boat ride around the world, with exhibits of creepy-ass dolls representing various global populations.
Why am I writing about this? Because this ride does not lend itself to a movie whatsoever. With no plot, no character, no defined setting, it is like those shitty writing prompts where you have to draw three words from a hat and string it into an awe-inspiring story.
Except instead of words, director Jon Turteltaub has three ideas to incorporate:
-the entire global population
-the fucking song
Now, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume Turteltaub is not a man for directing documentaries, so that direction is likely out the window.
Has Disney finally dug itself a hole too deep?
Personally, I think the movie should be taken in a thriller direction, taking pointers from Ridley Pearson’s “Kingdom Keepers”: have riders get stuck on the ride, have the dolls come to life, and make them the predator.